Mulieris Dignitatem
Posted by The Editor Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:58:00 GMT
Mrs Brenda Finlayson, Vice President General of the World Union of Catholic Women’s Organisations (WUCWO) and a member of CWL Ballarat presented a paper at the recent Conference in Rome to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Mulieris Dignitatem. The full text (without footnotes) of Brenda’s paper is reproduced below.
THE ROLE AND MISSION OF WOMEN
Guardians of spousal and maternal love
Imagine, if you will, a typical family home. Outside, the night is dark and a wild storm is raging. The lightning is continually flashing, the thunder is rolling and clapping, the wind is howling, lashing the rain in torrents. Inside, down the hallway, little steps come running into the parental bedroom where the mother is already awake. “What is the matter darling?” she asks. “I’m afraid!”, comes the answer. “But you know you don’t have to be afraid”, replies her mother, “you know that God makes the rain, the wind, the thunder and the lightning, and that He loves you.” “Yes, I know that”, says the little one as she climbs up into the bed and snuggles into her mother………”but right now, I need love with skin on”! This reflection is about ‘love with skin on.’
Such a scene is common enough within what the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls … the ‘Ecclesia domestica ’, the ‘domestic’ or ‘little’ Church, the family. Such an event demonstrates guardianship, implied spousal and identifiable maternal love.
Tangible ‘Love with skin on’, given to the world, was made possible by the trust in God’s providence and omnipotence, of a young Jewish girl of Nazareth, “a virgin betrothed to a man called Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.” With the Annunciation, Mary’s fiat – “be it done to me according to thy word” , ‘woman and man, the humanum in its entirety’, is given the first instance of “maternal love” from the Mother of God herself and, as a consequence, “the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us.” Thus, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity became a member of an earthly family.
To explore this topic, it is necessary to define the main terms: ‘Guardians’ – those who ‘defend, protect and/or ‘keep’; ‘Spousal’- relating to the state of matrimony; ‘Maternal’ relating to the state of motherhood, and ‘love’ – an intense feeling of deep affection . The latter definition is, however, very sterile. Pope John Paul II gave it a deeper dimension: “To love means to give and receive something which can neither be bought nor sold but only given freely and mutually.” “Spousal love is based on the tenet that … man was also entrusted by the Creator to the woman – they were entrusted to each other as persons made in the image of God himself. This entrusting is the test of love, spousal love. In order to become a ‘sincere gift’ to each other, each of them has to be responsible for the gift.”
Popes and poets, playwrights and storytellers, artists and artisans, musicians and songsters have all enriched society throughout the ages with their various interpretations of “love”. However, can one go any further than what St. John writes of Jesus? Simply: “He Himself revealed to us that ‘God is love’ [1 John 4:8] and at the same time taught us that the new command of love was the basic law of human perfection and hence of the world’s transformation.”
Deep emotional love between a woman and a man, in the Christian context, leads to marriage, “…. a sacred reality, a ‘sacrament’ or effective sign of God’s love and fidelity, which strengthens and divinizes the natural union of marriage. It is a path to holiness, to being saints … it is also the beginning of a family.” “When they become parents, spouses receive from God the gift of a new responsibility… in matrimony and in the family, a ‘complex’ of interpersonal relationships is set up, through which each person is introduced into the ‘human family’ and into the family of God which is the Church.”
“Womanhood and manhood are complementary” and “it is only through the duality of the “masculine” and the “feminine” that the “human” finds full realisation.” How often is this complementarity evident in the different affectionate interaction between husband and wife, father and daughter and/or mother and son? Spouses, in their own way, reinforce the importance of complementarity, the importance of fatherhood and of motherhood and, by example, show complementary commitment and behaviour.
Family roles are undertaken; “indeed, in a healthy family life we experience some of the fundamental elements of peace, justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others and, if necessary, to forgive them.”
“No one should naively assume that the journey of marriage will be easy….a marriage is thus as much a journey of faith and trust, as it is of love. A long commitment will always be tested. To reach old age in the company of one’s spouse, family and friends, is a unique joy that can only be known by those who have persevered through difficult times.” That journey is part of the vocation of marriage. In her role and mission in today’s society, how then can a woman defend, protect, keep, transmit and ‘entrust’ the practices of spousal and maternal love?
Mulieris dignitatem points the way: “In God’s eternal plan, woman is the one in whom the order of love in the created world of persons takes first root.” The order of love “constitutes woman’s own vocation”, and “the moral and spiritual strength is joined to her awareness that God entrusts the human being to her in a special way.”… “A woman is strong because of the awareness of this entrusting, strong because of the fact that God entrusts the human being to her, always and in every way.”
So, with responsibility and love, a wife and mother has the vocation of ‘entrustment of the human being’. The first recipients of this entrustment are her spouse and her children, because “the wellbeing of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.” This vocation is not only confined to within the walls of her home. In the context of “the woman receiving love in order to love in return”, this is not confined to the specific spousal relationship of marriage, it refers to “all the interpersonal relationships, which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons …..”
Following on from Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul wrote in his Letter To Women: “Necessary emphasis should be placed on the ‘genius of women’, not only by considering great and famous women of the past and present, but also those ordinary women who reveal the gift of their womanhood by placing themselves at the service of others in their everyday lives. For in giving themselves to others each day women fulfil their deepest vocation.” “Christian spouses are signs and means of God’s love in the world and “by their very lives they are called to bear witness to and proclaim the religious meaning of marriage, which modern society has ever greater difficulty recognising.”
“Authentic conjugal love will be more highly prized, and wholesome public opinion created about it if Christian couples give outstanding witness to faithfulness and harmony in their love, and … also, if they do their part in bringing about the cultural, psychological and social renewal on behalf of marriage and the family.” In word and action women need to be advocates and defenders of the state of matrimony, for the family, and for the respect of the dignity of every human person, but in so doing they should not neglect their own care, especially their health, so necessary to enable them to successfully care for others.
To assist the woman in her mission of advocacy and to enable her to have confidence in enunciating true Gospel values, the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace publication: ‘COMPENDIUM OF THE SOCIAL DOCTRINE OF THE CHURCH,’ is an invaluable reference. The other volume of worth is the Pontifical Council for the Family: ‘LEXICON. Ambiguous and debatable terms regarding family life and ethical questions.’ The former is a source of authentic Church teachings, the latter an illuminating collection of approved articles that clearly assist a woman to heighten her awareness “that the cunning use of ambiguous terms has reached worrisome levels.” LEXICON seeks to clarify misuse of language and to enhance understanding “that one of the most disturbing symptoms of a weakening of morality is the confusion of terms which lead to degrading levels when they are used with cold calculation to obtain a semantic change, changing the meaning of words in a deliberately perverted way.” It continues: “Certain expressions exploit the uninformed people who use them and, since they are deceived by their ambiguity, they are not aware of their deception.”
As defenders and protectors of marriage, true spousal and maternal love, women have the responsibility to be educated and well informed in order to present the truth to others. Some examples of the deliberate misuse of the terms other than ‘gender’, are the proliferation of spurious ‘rights’, including those relating to ‘sexual and reproductive health’, ‘discrimination’, ‘pro-choice’, ‘free love’, and all the euphemisms for abortion and euthanasia. Women “…. need now more than ever to have the courage to look truth in the eye and to call things by their proper name, without yielding to convenient compromises or the temptation of self-deception.”
The Church’s social doctrine assures women that they have the task of ‘proclaiming’ the truth, and the task of ‘denouncing’ all that morally degrades human dignity. In charity, women have the task of defending marriage stating simply, gently and consistently that it can occur only between a man and a woman. Other unions, between same-sex or trans-sex couples presented under the guise of ‘gender equality,’ are in truth, just unions, they are not marriages. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.” Nothing can be naturally formed in a womb from such a union.
In the ‘domestic’ or ‘little’ Church a mother lovingly accepts and protects the souls entrusted to her by the Creator. She guides and nurtures each child’s unique spiritual, affective, cognitive, psychological, social and cultural development throughout the changing situations that come with each stage of her family’s life cycle. By precept and example a mother, assisted by her spouse, transmits Christian virtues, family history and traditions, and creates ‘self-identity and purpose’ for her offspring. She provides formal and informal education within the home educating and training the next generation of parents, for values, attitudes and modes of behaviour are both ‘taught and caught’. She also clearly appreciates the paradox that the more she gives love away, the more her store of it increases. She becomes “God’s own smile on the new-born child.”
She also needs to be aware of her ‘hard work’ for Christ, which Saint Paul speaks of “…. and this hard work indicates the various fields of the Church’s apostolic service, beginning with the ‘domestic Church.”
Wives and mothers have been entrusted with the responsibility to proclaim the ‘sanctity of human life’ from conception until natural death by counteracting the increasing acceptance within some societies that the developing embryo/foetus can be destroyed with impunity. A recently consecrated bishop in my own country recently stated: “the littlest people, unborn humans, can be used as ‘genetical quarries’ and killed, to make big people better” , while another there has observed that, “the most dangerous place for a person to be at this present time is in the womb.”
In a spirit of charity, wives and mothers can engage in advocacy for the lives of the unborn, encourage the use of natural family planning, and spiritually and materially assist the vulnerable. They can affirm the single mother struggling to raise her children alone, work to alleviate poverty, be involved in pregnancy support services designed to uphold the dignity of pregnant women and the ‘culture of life,’ and with compassion assist those women, who sometimes years later, suffer from Post Abortion Syndrome. In their grief and regret, women victims of abortion, can be led to experience God’s infinite mercy and find grace, peace and healing.
Wives and mothers can support causes like MaterCare International which brings hope to mothers living with obstetric fistula, poor pre-natal and birthing care, support those who work with orphans in alleviating some of the hardships of families living with HIV/AIDS, and support work against all forms of human trafficking and sexual exploitation.
Informed comment, reinforced by authentic Catholic teachings in the texts already mentioned, assists wives and mothers to engage in advocacy at all levels to influence media outlets to be ‘family friendly’, and lawmakers to frame legislation that results in “the good of the whole human family”. “Christians must be aware of their own vocation within the political community; it is for them to give an example by their sense of responsibility and their service of the common good.”
Women have the opportunity to join associations that advance the Church’s apostolic work and in alliances, work cooperatively with like-minded organisations, particularly those that have representation at regional, state, national and/or international locations and agencies such as the United Nations and the Council of Europe. “Love knows how to discover the face of Christ, and discover a fellow human being to be loved and served.”
Wives and mothers are responsible for making the love of Christ take flesh in their lives and in the lives of others and to recognise Him in the love of those they meet. Here is just one instance of it:
In my small country town live a young married couple named Teresa and Mark. The brief background to this true story is that some years ago Teresa’s sister delivered Thomas Walter at full term. He had been diagnosed with anencephaly at 18 weeks gestation and surrounded by his loving family he lived for 17½ hours after birth. Four years later, Teresa and Mark’s son Benedict, diagnosed with this same condition, lived for less than 24 hours, and 3 years later, their daughter Charlotte had the same diagnosis. Charlotte lived with her family for 5 days, and was given back to God on the 26th June, the exact date as was brother Benedict 3 years earlier.
Teresa tells her story in “Why carry a dying child? A mother’s perspective” . Here are some of her words: “Some people think we carried Benedict and Charlotte to term because we don’t agree with abortion, because we are Catholic, or perhaps because our nephew was carried to term after a fatal diagnosis. While these factors probably all played a part in our immediate refusal to ‘terminate’, this is not what it is all about! It’s about love! It’s about my baby! It’s not about some tragic, fatal medical condition – it’s about my child.
We do not possess more strength than other people. It’s not because we can cope where others wouldn’t. There is no way to avoid the sad fact that she cannot live long after birth with this condition, but causing her to die earlier will not stop this happening. Causing her to die earlier will only take from us the beautiful experience of knowing and loving her…..
The value of Thomas Walter, Benedict and Charlotte cannot be measured by the length of their lives. We don’t apply this yardstick to adults, so why should we apply it to babies? A baby is not a possession, an accessory to acquire. A baby is a gift, a new entity, a precious, individual soul loved by God. We are created for a purpose – there is a reason for our being here. Even if that reason is unclear to us most of the time, we are constantly affecting other people in our families, communities, etc. Who knows what purpose can be fulfilled in nine months and one day? I don’t know, but God does.
I do know that Benedict left a lasting impression on our family – he made us slow down, savour life and treasure our other children even more. He made us realise that we cannot control or predict what will happen in the future – he made us rely on God. And how often are we given the opportunity to really give another person true unconditional love, love that truly expects no return? It was a blessing to experience that kind of pure love!
So, don’t pity us for carrying a child we know will die, carrying this beautiful person is an honour. Grieve for the fact that our baby will die. We wouldn’t wish away the time we had with Benedict, and also this time we are experiencing with Charlotte, just to save us the pain of losing them…. Someone asked us after Benedict died, “Was it worth it?” Oh yes! For the chance to hold him and see him and love him before letting him go? For the chance for our children to see that we would never stop loving them regardless of their imperfections? For the chance to give him everything we could? Oh yes!
Love your children and remember that they each have their own unique mission. Children are always and only a blessing from God – even if they don’t stay very long.
Women – ‘love with skin on’ – regardless of the colour of that skin, be it gleaming jet, lily white, or any of the hues in between, whether that skin be young and smooth, freckled, gnarled, old and wrinkled, all have been given the privilege of ‘entrustment’ and the ensuing tasks of responsibility.
May wives and mothers, like Mary the Mother of Love, “treasure all these things, ...., ponder them” in their hearts, and with the help of her intercession, be true guardians of spousal and maternal love, and give it away.
Brenda Finlayson. Rome, February 8, 2008.